We Are Broken
by Lila Blue394
Summary: Caroline is grieving and thanks to her friends she has managed to keep on moving. But then she get a surprise of her life.
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: **__and here is another Caroline/Dean story….gosh I just love these two together. I hope you like it. As always I own nothing except my mistakes which I am sure there are many and my oc my little MaryAnn_

_**Summary: **__Caroline tries to move past her grief but it's just so hard when everything she does everywhere she goes reminds her of him and their life together._

_**Pairings: **__Caroline/Dean Damon/Caroline (friendship) Bobby/Caroline (fatherly figure)_

_**Characters: **__Caroline, Damon, Sam, Elena, Bonnie, Stefan, Bobby, Jeremy, Tyler, Dean and my ofc MaryAnn._

**_Suggested Listening: _**_We Are Broken By Paramore and Let The Flames Begin By Paramore_

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><p><p>

There is a picture of him in a place of honor on her mantel it is surrounded by other pictures but his stands out. Just like the man she would suppose he always did stand out in a crowd, his picture is no different. She loves this picture of him loves the half smile that lights up his face and eyes. It's a black and white photo so one couldn't tell the color of his eyes but she knew. She knew that they were the most beautiful shade of green with gold flecks throughout them. His eyes still had the power to make her heart stutter and beat faster. She takes the photo off the mantel and is thrown back into time. To a time when they were happy and he was here.

_She throws her head back her laughter ringing out in the late afternoon. She looks over at him his green eyes smiling. They shouldn't be here not together and certainly not alone but there was something that draws her to him something that makes her come to him like a moth to a flame. The laughter stops their eyes lock and her breathing hitches. He leans in close and their lips collide in sweetness. _

_He said he was incapable of sweetness but they way his lips moved over hers drawing her in for more she realized he has no idea just what he is capable of. His hand moves to capture her jaw rubbing his thumb across her jaw line tracing it as if he was trying to keep her face locked away in his memory. Her hands move to cradle the back of his head as the kiss deepened she leans back lying in the grass and he is half on top of her his body a welcoming weight._

_They have not known each other that long but she feels lost when he's not around her she feels like she is floating with no anchor. He's her anchor he keeps her grounded and god the feel of his body is intoxicating. _

"Momma!" Caroline puts the picture back and turns towards the little girl that her world revolves around. Her baby her little MaryAnn with her golden green eyes and her brown hair came flying into the living room her eyes bright and a smile that would make the most harden man cave on her beautiful young face. "Momma uncle Dee wants to see you." She smiles down at her daughter and kisses her forehead. "Okay baby, thank you. Why don't you take Delilah out side to play in the backyard?" she suggests. MaryAnn's face lights up and she runs off to let their dog Delilah out to play. She stands up and straightens her clothes and wipes at the tears that had threatened to fall before her daughter came barreling in.

Damon her friend and her savior. They do not talk about those horrible days when she came home lost and broken; it is something that she is very grateful for. She plasters on a smile that is fake but she tries to make it real but to day…to day is the hardest day of all even after the years having gone by. "Hey Damon." She says smiling into his impossible blue eyes. She used to think that his eyes were sin personified and she still does but he has mellowed over the years becoming something of a good guy. She always knew however that he was a good guy he just hid behind the mask of a jackass.

"Hey Caroline," instantly she misses the way a certain someone used to say her name. He never called her Care the only one she ever knew that didn't. He always said her name like a prayer like a benediction and really how could she not love her name when someone she loved said her name like that. "How are you doing?" Her lips quirk and she gives a nonchalant shrug of her shoulder that she doesn't really feel. "Bout as well as can be expected. Don't worry Damon I won't be dancing on any rooftops this year. "He nods but eyes her in a way that makes her think he doesn't entirely believe her. Its okay she understands why he wouldn't believe her that time on the roof had been scary for the both of them.

_Tears pour down her face her vision is blurry, as she looks over the town that she used to call home the place where she used to feel safe but now all she feels is dead and empty. The baby she loved laying nestled inside her crib in her room at the boarding house. She should be in there with her holding her loving her giving her everything that she could ever want and need. She is after all, all that she has left of the man that she loved._

_However, all that does is bring fresh tears to her eyes and sobs racking her body. He's gone and she will never see him again never feel his body pressed against hers never feel his lips pressed to her forehead or hear his words of love. She will never again hear his heart beat as she lies on his chest or feel his warmth beneath her hand. He is gone, he is never coming back, and that thought…that thought just kills her. _

_She's alone and abandoned by those that she has loved those that she calls family the only one that stuck around was Bobby but even poor Bobby was lost in his own grief. She scoots closer to the edge she doesn't want to die or at least she doesn't think she does. The thing is she can't think her mind is muddled with thoughts of him thoughts of his handsome face smiling down on her. Of him calling her name her name that sounds like a prayer on his lips._

"_Why did you leave me?" She shouts into the night her pain shattering the peaceful quietness of it all. However, nothing is peaceful to her anymore her mind heart and soul are in turmoil. "Why did you leave me?" She says again quietly this time as she stands and looks down at the ground. If she falls if she jumps, it will be certain death. Then maybe she can be with him again. Maybe she could see him again, hold him tell him she loves him tell him that she misses him. That she needs him. _

"_Caroline?" she whirls around at the sound of her name. Damon. It's not him never him. It will never be him again, he's dead remember. "Caroline what are you doing?" Damon blurs and she realizes it's her tears clouding her vision. "Leave me alone." she grumbles hoarsely her toe edging closer to the edge. "You know I cant do that." she nods knowing the truth behind his words he wont leave her he wont abandon her he's already told her that. Told her the day that her baby was born into this cruel world. Born into a world that took her father away before she ever had a chance to know him._

"_I…I think I want to die Damon." she says without looking at him. Her mouth is turned down in a frown her hair falling around her face curtaining it from view. "No you don't you just want to be close to him." He would know. He had done everything in his power to be close to Katharine and then Elena. Isn't that what you do when you love someone you would do anything to be close to them to be near them do anything just to hear your name on their lips?_

"_I can't live without him." She says there's truth behind her words right now in this moment she feel inadequate like she can do nothing right she can't even be there for the child they had both loved with a fierceness that was almost scary. "Yes you can Care I have faith in you." she throws her head back and laughed at that. She does not even notice that it sounded half-mad. "Faith in me…for the love of a God that doesn't exist why would you have faith in me?" _

_He is silent for a long time long enough for her to waver just a bit. His eyes never leave her even if she will not meet those eyes and finally he says, "Because you're stronger than this. You stood up for me when I didn't deserve it you where there when I needed it even if I acted like I didn't. You never gave up on me." Each word he spoke brought him closer to her and she knew what he was about to do. However, she made no move to stop him see she didn't really want to die after all she was just a lost and broken little girl. "And I'm not about to give up on you." He says taking her hand in a firm grip; he pulls her away from the edge. _

"Elena and Stefan said they were taking the kid for the night. You are here by ordered to go get dressed we're going out." She gave him a smile that she didn't feel and sent him a two-finger salute before walking out of the room. She kept the smile plastered on her face for her daughter's sake there were a few things that she has learned over the years. She hides her pain because MaryAnn never knew her father just his picture so her grief at the father she never got to meet was just that.

She never got to meet him never got to hear him tell her that he loved her she never got to feel his arms around her hugging her and holding her as tight as a father does. She misses him in that sense but no more, where Caroline's grief was still palpable. Still making her heart beat faster at the thought still making her want to crawl into bed and never get out to pull the covers over her head and cry until she couldn't anymore. However, her daughter her beautiful little girl never had to see that side of her mom because she hid it. She never wanted MaryAnn to see her like that.

"MaryAnn, baby." She says throwing open the screen door. Her baby turns her head to look at her, her brown hair flying out at the movement. She is on her hands and knees the dog jumping around barking happily. "Yes momma?" Caroline smiles at her daughter genuine warmth lighting her eyes in a way that only happens when her daughter looks at her like she is looking at her now. Her golden green eyes bright and happy her face wreathed in smiles the freckles standing out on her pert nose. "Aunt Elena and uncle Stefan are coming over to watch you. Why don't you go up and get changed?" MaryAnn nods and stands up brushing the grass off her knees.

At four MaryAnn is a bright and happy child the only care she has was for her family and her dog. "Okay momma." She runs for the door Delilah chasing her thinking her friend wanted to play some more. MaryAnn stops long enough to throw her arms around on of Caroline's legs hugging her with such fierceness that Caroline held no doubt how much this little girl could love. _So much like your father_. She inhales deeply and sharply at the stray thought. She shakes it off and smiles down at her little girl. "Go on baby." MaryAnn lets her go and runs for the steps pausing at the bottom to toss a smile over her shoulder before taking off up the steps Delilah hot on her heels. She looks over at Damon who is now sitting at her kitchen table he gives her one of his mocking half smiles she shakes her head at him and follows her daughter at a more sedate pace.

* * *

><p>At some point over the years, she has removed all of his clothes from her closet it was too much smelling him and seeing his things every time she opened the damn thing. She used to sleep with one of his shirts on her pillow until it started smelling less like him and more like her. Everything ends everything there's no stopping it no matter how badly a person wants it to all one can do is keep the spark alive keep the memory alive. She likes to think that she has done that kept his memory alive. She knows that she has never forgotten him. Sighing she searches through her closet and finds a summer dress. The pretty cotton dress slips from her fingers as a memory assaulted her.<p>

"_You look beautiful." He says as she walks over to him her dress swaying around her bare feet. Its long and it flows over her curves like water. When she is close, enough she lays a hand on his chest feeling the strong beat of his heart beneath her palm. His hands cup her jaw his thumbs tracing it making her shiver his gold-flecked green eyes staring down into hers._

"_Did I ever tell you that I love you?" She asks looking up at him through her lashes. "No…no I don't think you have ever told me that." She closes her eyes and laughter bubbles up in her chest. "Well I do I love you." he smiles at her stealing all the air out of her lungs he leans down his lips very close to her ear his breath is warm and it tickles. "Did I ever tell you that I love you?" He asks before pressing his lips to her ear it makes her shiver and she suddenly finds it hard to talk. "No…" she pauses her tongue darting out to lick her lips. "No I don't think you have ever told me that." he nods gravely and pulls back so he can look her in the eye. _

"_Well I'll just have to fix that wont I?" he says sliding his hands around to her back and up. One hand is pressed to her lower back pulling her in pulling her closer to his warmth the other slides up her back until he's cradling her scalp. Her skin tightens and her breathing hitches he has always been able to do this to her turn her into a quivering mess. "I love you Caroline Forbes." he says before his lips crash down onto hers._

She gasps her hand clasping the fabric of her shirt over her heart the dress lying forgotten on the floor. Pain floods her at the memory she'll never hear those words from his lips again she'll never see his sweet face never feel his hands on her body touching her loving her making her feel wanted. Her phone vibrating in her pocket blasting out Paramour's Let The Flames Begin brings her back from the edge. She is horrified how she almost lost it with her daughter still awake.

She digs the phone out with shaking hands and brings it to her ear. "Yes?" she is not sure whom she was expecting to call but he was it. On this day like her, he usually did not talk to anyone that could remind them of him. _"Hey darlin'." _he mumbles his voice gruff with concern. She lets a small smile flit across her mouth. "Hey Bobby," She says softly her love for the old man ringing out in her tone. "How are you?" She knows that this day was hard on him. In another life, those boys would have been his sons and she would have been his daughter-in-law MaryAnn would have been his granddaughter.

However, her little girl did not think much about things like that Bobby has always been and would always be her grandfather. _"Been better how about you?" _she gives a harsh little laugh her heart hurts today more than it does at any other time. Except for MaryAnn's birthday, which was tomorrow. "Been better. What's up do you need something?"

He's quiet for a moment and she wonders at that. She knows he was having a hard time dealing three years later and the pain still had not ebbed would it ever stop. _"Ya think you can swing by here?" _swing by he was several states away there was a heck of a lot to it than just swinging by. "Well MaryAnn's birthday is tomorrow Bobby." they had an unspoken rule no contact no meeting up until after the party. He was always more than welcome to come but when she remembers the one time, he had shown up…well she would rather not think of that day. When her baby had turned a year. _"I…I know but I need you to come."_

Her mind was going a mile a minute whirling with thoughts. He wasn't telling her why and that made her worry but this was Bobby he wouldn't keep something important from her would he? "Okay I'll move her party up and we'll hit the road after. I'll call you when we're about there." he sighs and it sounds grateful. What the hell was going on? _"Good I'll see ya soon then?"_ she bits her lip wonder what was going on and why he sounded like she should come sooner than she had told him. "Yeah I'll see you soon." they say their good-byes and hang up. As she shoves her phone back into her pocket she tries (but fails) to put it out of her mind.

_She sighs for what feels like the millionth time. Her eyes pop open to reveal a very dark motel room these beds were not conducive to a good nights sleep at least not for a pregnant woman. The baby in her belly gave a viscous kick to her bladder making her groan. Damn it now she had to pee again! Huffing and puffing she tried to get out of bed succeeding in only to roll off and land on the floor with a thud. "Damn!" She grumbles as she lands on her hands and knees._

_She looks up and sends her still sleeping husband a glare. How in the hell could he still sleep? She thought angrily. She waddles yes actually waddles to the bathroom and flips on the lights sighing again when she sees herself in the mirror. Her hair is wild and there are dark circles under her eyes letting her know just how little sleep she had been getting for the last few weeks. And she couldn't just put all the blame on the pregnancy most of it went to the deal that was soon coming up. _

_The devil was coming to collect his due and she was scared. Soon she would be alone and all the lovely dreams they had shared would go up in flames. He would never see his baby born he would never get to hold their child. Their little girl that he loved so much he would never see all the important milestones that made up a child's life. He wouldn't be there to hold her after her first broken heart and he would be able to kick the idiot's ass. He wouldn't be able to be there to tuck her in to tell her he loved her. _

_She lays an all too slim hand on her round belly her fingers dancing across the taught skin. "He'll never even get to see what you look like." she whispers tears of pain and loss coursing down her cheeks. In a fit of anger she slams the door shut not even caring if she woke them up she sits on the toilet her face in her hands sobs racking her body. This was all too much she missed him already and he wasn't even gone yet. So lost in her grief she didn't even notice that he had walked into the bathroom._

"_Caroline?" he says softly and just like always it sounds like a prayer. Her breathing hitched and she cried even harder until she was almost wailing stupid hormones. "Ssshhh," He soothed running his fingers through her hair. He brings her close to him and she cries all over him. But she can feel his warmth under her palm feel his heartbeat steady and strong letting her know he's not gone he's not dead yet. "Is it the baby?" she gives a viscous shake of her head the top of her head brushing against the underside of his jaw. _

"_Then what is it?" He says pulling away from her so he could look into her eyes. She plans on telling him…telling him what was going on spill the beans let him see inside her troubled mind her collapsing heart and her whirlwind soul but one look in those troubled gold flecked green eyes of his and… she cant. She just cannot do it could not cause him any more pain. So she lies. (Through her teeth.) "Nothing…nothing." She says brushing away, the tears that still fell while her other hand grips is upper arm. _

"_It doesn't seem like nothing." He says not believing her. Not that she could blame him. She forces herself to stop crying and look him in the eyes. "It's nothing baby I…promise. Its just…just hormones." she gives him a wobbly watery smile that she hopes doesn't give all her secrets away. "Are you sure?" She nods laughs a little that almost sound false. "I'm…I'm fine really now go I have to pee." He laughs but it sounds forced. "Alright…alright stop pushing!" he snaps playfully._

_He grips her wrists in his warm big hands making her feel safe despite everything. "I love you…you know that right?" He asks suddenly taking her off guard. Her step falters and she feels like she's falling without an ending in sight. "Yeah…yeah I know that. I love you to." She cups his jaw her fingers dancing over the stubble that grew their. In two days time she would never feel this again. He brings his lips down to hers and she just wished that his brother wasn't here and they could be alone. But that was mean and she brushed that aside with all the other things she didn't want to think about._

"_Go to bed I'll be there in a minute." He smiles at her a real one that has her breath hitching again. He kisses her again before he walks away she stands there in the doorway watching him stride over to their bed. Watching the powerful play of muscles underneath his taught skin, she let her mind soak him up etching it all into her memory where she could lock them away and keep them forever._

"You seem awfully far away blondie am I that much of a bore?" Damon's sardonic tone broke through the haze she had wrapped around herself. She smiles at him and pushes her hair behind her ear. "No not a bore…jerk maybe but never a bore." he gives a brisk nod of his head and gulps down his drink before ordering two more. She would prefer to have the bottle left there but she had to be up early in the morning.

"You know what you need?" She looks up at him wearily wondering where he was about to go with this. "No but I have a feeling you'll tell me." he smirks at her and she feels lighter than she has in a while she always feels that way when she's with Damon. "You need to get good and drunk." She laughs and gives a shake of her head. "Have you forgotten I have a birthday party to get ready for?" She asks leaning her cheek on the palm of her hand. "Yes…" he says slowly making it sound like he was hissing. "Do you need another reason?"

He did have a point almost all of MaryAnn's pre-school class was going to be there and there were some kids that needed to have their, little behinds paddled. And their parents weren't much better. Even still… "You know I can't rain check?" She asks fluttering her eyelashes at him he snorts and mumbles, "That won't work on me princess." The instant flow of tears was almost humiliating. "Oh shit Caroline I'm…I'm sorry. I didn't realize…" he used to call her that her husband the man that she loved with all of her heart the man that was forever locked in her mind and soul he used to call her that.

She takes off leaving a stupefied Damon behind she barrels past people mumbling hasty apologies as she moves. She throws open the door and the cool fall air hits her helping her to breathe again. She can't go on like this she can't keep crashing every time someone says something the way he used to or looks at her the way he did. She can't keep bursting into tears every fucking time someone calls her princess!

"Lets get you home." Damon's voice so close behind her startles her she sniffles and nods not daring to speak just yet. He takes her home gets her into bed and stays the night. She talks him into lying next to her. "I…I just can't be alone right now." She says her voice hoarse from the tears. "I'll get Elena then." He says and she panics. Elena is her best friend and would do anything for her she knew that understood that but she also didn't get what she was going through. But Damon did. Damon understood the kinda pain that Caroline found herself in and she just needed the quiet strength that he could offer her.

"No please…please you promised." he looks at her his blue eyes narrowing she see's understanding in them. "Please just for a little while just till I fall asleep." he nods and strips off his jacket. He pulls the covers up around her and climbs on top. Who knew Damon Salvatore was such a gentlemen? She did. Somehow, she has always known.

* * *

><p><em>Caroline couldn't remember being more terrified than she was in this moment. "What the hell do you mean I'm pregnant? How did this happen?" She tossed at the doctor wishing she had some sort of blunt object at the moment. Especially with Sam next to her holding her hand laughing down at her. She cast furious green eyes at him. "Well sweetheart it probably happened during all those sneak away sessions you and my brother keep having." She snatched her hand away and sat up running her hand through her hair.<em>

"_A baby really?" She asks looking up at the doctor. He looks at her with kind grey eyes and nods. "Yes Mrs. Winchester I do believe that you are going to have one of those." she flings herself back onto the examination table with a laugh that seemed to explode out of her. "We're going to have a baby Sammy. And he or she will look just like you two." Sam smiles at her it's bright and happy and for a moment they can forget all about Deans deal because there is going to be a baby. "I think he or she will look like you. You don't want your kid to look like their uncle." Oh but she does if her kid is lucky they will have that famous Winchester look just like them._

Caroline moves through the crowd of happy screaming pre-schoolers patting a few of them on the head as she moved past them to where Bonnie and Elena stood watching the scene with growing horror. It would seem one could never get used to these things no matter how much fun they had. "Hey guys." She says wrapping her arms around them smiling when they returned the hug. "How are you doing Caroline?" Bonnie asks as she eyes her as if she would explode at any moment.

"I'm fine just a little tired is all." Elena nods but Caroline can tell she doesn't believe her. "You sure you're going to be able to make the drive to South Dakota?" She nods and turns around just in time to see her daughter on a table ready to jump off. "MaryAnn! Get down!" Her daughter looks up at her. Her golden green eyes twinkling with un-disguisable mischief. "Yes momma." She says sweetly only to jump off anyways. Stefan's laughter rings out behind her and he says, "Well you did tell her to get down."

"Just like her father let me tell you!" and for once the sadness that always seems to accompany words like that never came. Never even crosses her mind as she crosses the lawn to get to her errant daughter. She even misses the shocked looks on her friend's faces. "MaryAnn what have I told you about doing that?" She scolds getting down to her eyelevel. "Sorry momma I wont do it again." her little girl mumbles as she digs her toe into the ground she is the figure of a child that knows she has done bad and is sorry for it.

Caroline nods but she doesn't believe her baby she is too much like Dean for her ever to believe that. "You better not or we won't go see papa." MaryAnn's face brightens her eyes going even greener than they already were. "We're going to see papa?" She asks happily Caroline lets herself smile and nods. "I never see papa for my birthday will he have a present for me? Oh…oh and how about pie?" Caroline laughs at the childish enthusiasm and wished she could have that kinda zest for life again. "Maybe…" She hedged she had no clue what Bobby wanted. "But none of that now go play with your friends." MaryAnn nodded and turned around screaming to her friend Connor. "My momma is taking me to see my papa Conner!" Caroline laughed again and stood up.

"_A baby really?" She laughs up at him he sounded so kid like so happy she would give anything to keep him that way. "Yes Dean really." Sam mumbles a grin plastered on his face. Dean takes the ultrasound picture in his hands she ignores the way the tremble. "A baby…" she smiles at him even though he can't see and places her hands on his cheeks. "Yes a baby, our baby." Finally, he looks at her and wraps his arm around her waist picking her up and twirling her around. His laughter ringing out in the motel room._

Caroline's eyes misted when her baby laughed before blowing out the candles on her birthday cake. She laughs just like Dean hell everything that little girl did reminded her of Dean. From the way she smiled or the way, she laughed right on down to the way she protected those she cared for. When she was two she actually broke a kids nose in Connor's defense its why their so close. Conner leaned over and gave MaryAnn a kiss on her cheek making her baby blush crimson. Jeremy barked out a laugh at that.

"Its not funny uncle Jeremy!" Jeremy's laugh died and was replaced by a soft crooked smile. "Sorry baby girl. Your right it's not funny it's sweet." Caroline rolled her eyes and guided her daughter to the present table while Stefan and Elena cut up the cake. After that, one incident where everyone thought she was trying to stab Tyler no one trusted her with knives. Didn't matter that she had said that if she were going to stab him she would actually stab not try it only made it worse.

As if her thoughts conjured him up Tyler appeared before them with a brightly wrapped present with a huge pink bow. "Here you go MaryAnn just what you asked for." He said with his infectious smile. "Thank you uncle Tyler!" MaryAnn squealed with delight as she tore into the present to reveal a stuffed dog just like her Delilah. "Look Delilah its you!" the dog barked letting them now just what she thought of the miniature English bulldog.

_Caroline fussed over her dress the gown white as snow seemed to make her glow but she was to nervous to see that. The fingers of one hand pleated the folds of the skirt while the other was making sure that every strand of hair was in its place. "Stop that!" Elena admonished slapping the hand that was fussing over the skirt. Caroline scowled at her friend in the mirror. "And don't give me that look either." The door opened and Bonnie scooted in saying, "I said no its bad luck now go away!" Bonnie shut the door with a huff and Caroline couldn't keep in her laughter. _

"_It's not funny he's worse than a child!" Elena nodded and Caroline just smiled. It was true after all Dean had all the patience's of a toddler. "How are you doing honey?" Bonnie asks her lips quirking up at the corners. "I'll be better when I have this dress off." she mumbled but blushed as soon as the words came out of her mouth. "Oh I didn't mean it that way…I meant…oh shit never mind." Not as if they would hear her anyways they were to busy laughing._

_A knock at the door made them all pause and Bonnie scowled at the door saying, "That better not be him trying to get in again." turns out it was just Bobby. He looked so handsome in his best flannel shirt and a clean trucker's hat on his head. He hadn't wanted to wear a tux not that she blamed him. He had no worries in that none of the boys was wearing tuxes only the girls had dressed up. And honestly, she wouldn't have it any other way. Elena gave her a flower and she pinned it on his shirt._

"_Are you sure ya don't want some one else for the job?" He asks her looking out at her from under his hat. She frowns at him and says, "Who else would I have?" He shrugs and fidgets she pats his chest silently telling him to stop moving. "Someone more qualified." Her frown deepens and she looks up at him. "Who would be more qualified Bobby your like a father to the boys…" she pauses and licks her lips tasting her peach lip gloss. "…And to me." she adds hesitantly. He smiles at her but it disappears into his beard. He grips her wrists stopping her from fussing over him his hands slide down to capture her hands. "And you're like a daughter to me." _

"Momma how much longer till we see papa?" MaryAnn asks sleepily her stuffed dog affectionately named Delilah 2.0 grasped tightly in her tiny arms the real deal curled up and sleeping in the back seat. "Soon baby why don't you go to sleep." MaryAnn nodded her head and closed her eyes almost instantly falling asleep. Poor thing was exhausted after the party to only have been piled up in the car and have to leave. Sighing she slipped her sunglasses on and turned up the radio a little bit letting the music soothe a tired MaryAnn and her restless self. It had been six months since she had seen Bobby she had felt hurt slighted by the sudden no contact. But she knew the job he had she had been in the line of fire herself however that's exactly why she didn't like when he did that sorta thing. Too much, can happen in a short span of time to much.

"_Bobby!" Caroline screamed as she watched the man that she loved like a father crumple to the ground his blood blooming from the wound in his chest. The boys had gone on a hunt by themselves, she had gone on one with Bobby, and now she wished they were here. "Bobby! Bobby please get up!" She is sobbing now as she slides down to the gritty floor the bars of her cage keeping her from running to him. "Bobby please!" She whimpered tears falling freely from her eyes. _

_She smelled the foul stench of an unwashed body near her and turned with a gasp. She quickly recovered and snarled, "Don't you touch him!" The demon inside the human smiled an evil smile and laughed. "Or what? What are you going to do sweet cheeks? Kill me?" He taunted. At a loss for words, all she did was scowl. Then she heard a groan and saw Bobby getting to his knees. "No…no killing but ye're going back to the pit you black eyed bastard!" the demon hissed and tried to move towards her fallen friend but couldn't. "Oh right on Bobby!" She crowed throwing her fist in the air. He sent her a brief smile his eyes never leaving their tormentor._

"_Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio," the demon fell to ground and threw his head back screaming in pain she could smell the sulfur man she hated that smell. When Bobby spoke the last words of the exorcism his tone strong and true the demon threw his head back and screamed his mouth open impossibly wide as the black smoke poured from his mouth. When all was said and done the man laying on the ground his chest rising and falling in rhythmic fashion Bobby gets up slowly and walks over to where the leaver to the cage was and let her out. She scrambled out of the cage and ran over to him catching him just before he fell._

"_Bobby come on we gotta go. You need a doctor…" he cuts her off with a viscous wave of his hand. "And we'll get there but you have to clean up no one can know we were here." she nods knows the truth of his words what with Hendrickson hot on their tails. She and Bobby had already been brought in for questioning hell it was half the reason she was here with Bobby now. "Alright… okay well you just sit here." She says helping him to sit on the floor his back propped up by the wall. "Are you okay?" She asks him after noticing his labored breathing. "I'm fine just get ye're ass going." she nods a brief smile crossing her lips and set about getting to work._

After about a dozen or so stops they finally pull into Bobby's driveway, finally they were here. It was no fun driving with a four year old and a dog in the back seat. She saw the Impala and parked behind it. She had not seen Sam since just after MaryAnn was born he left almost right after she had been brought into the world. She shudders at the thought the birth of her daughter had been a very tragic scene and almost fatal. She sucked in a breath trying to fortify her nerves and gathered MaryAnn's night bag put Delilah on her leash and unhooked a still sleeping MaryAnn.

"Momma?" she murmurs sleepily. "Ssshhh baby we're here at papa's." Her little girl nodded but made no move to get down. Caroline maneuvered her so she fit better on her hip wrapped Delilah's leash around her hand so the pup couldn't go running off and walked up the falling down steps. She did not bother knocking all though in retrospect she probably should have. "Bobby! We're here." she could hear scuffling coming from the library. She frowned and moved towards the sound it wasn't a demon one couldn't get past the sigils that Bobby had put up and even if one did Delilah would have let her know. The dog had been trained in the hunt her momma and daddy were renowned hunters and not of rabbits.

"Bobby?" she rounds the corner holding on tighter to MaryAnn and Delilah and promptly almost drops her little girl. "Caroline you were supposed to call." Bobby stutters guiltily as he should! "Why in the hell didn't you tell me?" She shouted, "Why would you keep something like this from me?" He doesn't look at her and the betrayal stings her. She hitches MaryAnn high on her hip and moves to leave.

"Caroline wait," Sam says moving in front of her she scowls at him pain burning bright in her green eyes. "No I will not wait!" She tries to move around him but he just steps in front of her again stopping her. There isn't much she can do while holding her fragile daughter so she stops and turns to face the other men in the room. MaryAnn chooses that moment to wake up. "Momma?" she asks sleepily lifting her head off Caroline's shoulder to look around the room her eyes landing in Bobby. "Papa!" She shouts happily trying to free herself from her mothers grasp. Caroline has no choice like with her grief this is just another thing Caroline refuses to let her daughter see.

She won't let her see her anger that makes her shiver the betrayal burning in her eyes. She hides it with a smile, lets her daughter slide down, and run to Bobby who picks her up and places's her on his hip a small smile on his face. She chatters on completely oblivious to the turmoil around her as she shows off her stuffed dog Delilah 2.0 telling him about her party. She doesn't even notice the man that stares at her with such longing that it makes Caroline waver in her righteous anger. "This is her…this is MaryAnn? I've only seen pictures…she's…she's beautiful Caroline." MaryAnn chooses that moment to look at the man that she had previously over looked. Her bright little face showing every emotion that flitted through her mind. "Daddy?" she said softly. "Daddy is that you?"


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: _I should say that Caroline has her own secret one she's keeping from the boys but one Bobby knows about. Also if anyone has anything good to or heck bad please do. I don't know how I feel about this story. There was a bug on the sight and I couldn't get it published for a while and so I lost faith in it. So if you don't like it please tell me and I will take it down. But of you do let me know that to…I dunno I just don't know how I feel about this any more._

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><p><em>Dean eyes her as she talks to Bobby he was also blatantly eavesdropping. "Why didn't you tell me?" She asks her voice soft breaking at the end. MaryAnn finally having notice the tension in the room sat tentatively on Sam's lap her fingers twisting her shirt and a drooling none so happy husky at his feet. "I…if you just let us explain." Her lips purse she turns to him he can see the tears glittering in her expressive green eyes and he hates that they have put them there. It was their fault that she was crying. <em>

_She always told him that in the world that she lived in outside of Mystic Falls the life she led with him and Sam the only people she could really trust were the three of them. She could always count on them sure he's made her cry so has Sam and Bobby once or twice but they have never lied to her like they have for the past few years. He has no idea what she has gone through the pain that she dealt with only what Bobby told him. He and Sam monitored them through Bobby he held onto those bits like a lifeline. He didn't want them being drawn back into this life now that MaryAnn was here._

_Bobby had enough of the lies hence why they are all here dealing with a very pissed off Caroline and a confused MaryAnn. "You'll explain alright but not now MaryAnn has been on the road all day and its past dinner time. I'll cook you stay here and spend time with them." with one last look at their daughter she went into the kitchen. "Well she's taking it better than I thought she would." Sam muttered. No she wasn't she wasn't taking it well at all but he understood that she was pushing it all aside for the sake of MaryAnn._

"_What are we going to name her?" He asks her his hand stroking her belly that was just rounding. Just a little bump right now his baby was growing inside of her and it never failed to make him smile even with the ever-present threat looming over them. "MaryAnn." She says with a nod her smile bright as the sun outside. _

"_Why MaryAnn?" He hears her sigh her hand coming to lay on top of his entwining her fingers with his. "Because she'll be named after your mother so she'll have her strength. And Ann because she'll be named after my grandmother." she looks up at him with glittering green eyes making them look like emeralds she licks her lips and he can feel her sadness swelling up and around him. _

"_She'll look like you." He shakes his head at that who wants their kid to look like him no he thinks she look like her and tells her so. "No…no she'll look like you. She'll have your eyes your nose, freckles and Sam's hair." he could never understand how she can always be so sure of everything. She wavers like anybody else but most of the time she was very sure of herself and the things she thought of._

She did look like him and she did have Sam's hair all brown and unruly. Man Sam's hair had been bad when they were kids he wonders of Caroline had as much trouble as he did. "Momma keeps a picture of you." She says softly holding her stuffed dog tightly in her tiny arms. "She does?" Sam says. MaryAnn nods her face solemn her golden green eyes bright. "Of both of you, she has this picture of daddy and it's nice. That's how I know him. Momma is always showing it to me saying this is your daddy." "Did you know I have a picture of you and your momma?" Dean asks her she gives a little shake of her head her eyes glittering the way Caroline's had just before she had walked out but not as brightly. "Can I…can I see it?" She asks tentatively. He nods oblivious to the looks Sam and Bobby gave each other. He pulls his wallet of his pocket and takes the picture out of the hiding place just as she crawls up onto his lap. She takes it into her small hands looking at the picture of Caroline holding a tiny MaryAnn. "Momma is so pretty." He nods and wishes he could pull her close he wants to hold her as tight as he can like his dad used to.

"She is isn't she?" MaryAnn nods and lays her head on his chest heaving a little sigh that sounds like Sam. He brings his hand up and runs it through her soft as silk waves the dog gives a little bark not really liking all the new people around her human he would guess. "Hush Delilah!" MaryAnn admonished shaking a finger at the dog, "This is daddy you don't do that." the dog immediately rolled onto her back showing her soft belly in a show of submission he smiled down at his daughter and was content to sit like this with her nestled against him. How it should have been all along he had been so stupid he should have gone to them the minute he had come back then he wouldn't have missed so much.

"Momma said…momma said that you had died. Did you come back for me?" She didn't look at him when she asked that just sat there twirling his shirt in her hands. He honestly didn't know what to tell her he has no clue what Caroline may or may not have told her. He looked to Bobby for answers he's the one that has always been there for them. But Bobby just shrugged his shoulders not offering any help at all. He hadn't been _brought _back for her no but he had wanted to come back for her so he said this, "Yeah baby I came back for you." it wasn't a lie he had come back for her and Caroline.

"Momma missed you so much. She doesn't think I know but I do I hear things uncle Dee was worried about her. Sometimes she used to cry at night." He swallowed around the lump in his throat he had never meant to hurt her like that. However, it would seem that he had after all. All he could do was mumble an "I'm sorry." into her hair as he pressed his lips to her crown she gave a shrug of her shoulders nestling even deeper into his hold. "You're here now daddy. You're here now."

"_Caroline! Caroline! Answer me where are you!" he shouts for her running all over the damn house that they were in. It wasn't supposed to go down like this it was supposed to be a simple salt and burn. But it would seem that nothing in their damn lives was ever easy. Sam searched the basement while he searched the upstairs but when he was done, he had found nothing abso-fucking-lutely nothing! _

_He meets Sam at the steps taking in his brother's worried expression. "We have to find her Dean." He knew that already Sam was not telling him anything new, "I know that Sam!" he needed more information something that would tell him where to find her. "No your not…your not listening this isn't a salt and burn this is witch!" Sam snapped. "How in the hell did you come to that conclusion?" Dean snarled angrily all the signs pointed to ghost not a witch._

"_Think about it. People that look decidedly like Caroline have been disappearing for the last four years like clockwork. Hell that woman we talked didn't you see the slight resemblance?" Dean stopped to think but all his focus was on Caroline his brain repeating the same words over again. Need to find her have to find her over and over like someone had pushed the replay button. He brought his hands up to his face the cool metal of his gun briefly touching the side of his face like the caress of a lover. Life was so much easier when she wasn't here he didn't have to worry about screwing up about getting her killed._

"_This is all my fault we shouldn't have split up!" He growled frustrated with himself. "Dean you couldn't have known besides Caroline is good scarily good you know that. You know that she's fighting that bitch with everything she got." Sam reassured but Dean could hear the hint of worry behind the words. "Think where would this witch have taken her?" Sam pursed his lips and put his hands behind his back as he thought while Dean did what Dean did best he paced._

_He tucked his gun into the back of his jeans put it in the holster Jeremy had made for him as a wedding present. He stopped pacing and put his hands on the wall this close to banging his head against it like Caroline did that one time when he was driving her particularly mad. Her words not his. "I got it!" Sam practically shouted. He looked at his baby brother one of his eyebrows arched. "The house why we didn't think of it in the first place is beyond me." Dean glowered at his brother Sam was doing it again. "Sam usually I can speak Sammese but not right now and not without Caroline to translate so please for the love of God speak English!" _

_Sam glared at him but did him a solid by translating, "The witches house remember how the woman wouldn't let us in her house?" Dean nodded slowly there were many reasons why someone wouldn't let him in but Caroline was with them and people always let Caroline and Sam in they looked to wholesome to not trust came in handy. "Let's go."_

_Not long after they were bursting into the witch's house first thing he saw was Caroline strapped to the altar he wasted no time and put several bullets into the damn bitch. He rushed over to her noticing the blood that oozed from several cuts on her body thankfully none of them deep enough to need stitches. "Caroline, come on baby talk to me." She looked at him giving him a small but dazzling smile. "I'm so sorry, so sorry." He mutters as he unties her wrists while Sam works on her ankles. "Its okay you're here…you're now that's all that matters."_

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><p>The quiet was broken by Delilah's soft whine, which made MaryAnn sigh. "Daddy Delilah needs to go potty will you help me?" he looks at Bobby who is smiling at her and for a moment Dean wonders if the old man ever looked at him and Sam that way. "Sure baby you get her leash." MaryAnn nods and gets up to go get the leash of the coat rack. In no time, the dog is leashed and ready to go Sam decided to wait until he heard the click of the door before asking Bobby what he thought of the situation.<p>

He wasn't sure about Caroline anymore she had changed so much from that happy girl he had been such good friends with. There was such sadness behind those green eyes a sadness that he has seen mirrored in his brother's eyes for the last few years. "How do you think they are taking this?" He asks not really looking at Bobby he finds himself staring at his feet hoping the answers to all his questions could be answered in just one sentence but he knew that was impossible.

"MaryAnn is taking it better than I thought she would but she's a resilient little thing just like her parents. Its Caroline I'm worried about." The other man mutters Sam looks up to see him staring at the kitchen doors where Caroline had locked herself. "She's strong but she's hurt and rightfully so." Sam nodded glumly and looked down at his feet again. This was mostly his fault like everything else. He had been the one to suggest that Caroline not be brought in that she is left out of this.

However, learning that Zachariah wanted Dean and would do anything to get him they all agreed that was no longer an option. He wondered how she was going to take hearing that angels actually existed. Oh and lets not forget the books that were written about them and that little thing called fan fiction. Yeah it was a little funny but somehow he did not think that she was going to find it very funny. "She hates me." He mutters gloomily and yes, he does realize that he sounds like an angsty teen but honestly, it couldn't be helped. Like Dean and Bobby, Caroline was the only other person he couldn't stand hating him. She was his best friend his sister-in-law. Dean, Bobby, MaryAnn and she were the only family he had left.

"She don't hate you, you idjit. She's just mad give her time she'll come around." Bobby said sagely and he knew he was right but let's face it Sam Winchester had not had the best few years. He shivered when he thinks about the Hell he has brought upon the word and quite literally at that. "How do you think she'll take hearing about the books?" Bobby smiled and he wasn't at all sure he liked the look he was getting. "Let's just say I think she'll take hearing about the whole angel/Michael/Lucifer thing better than she would about that." Sam pursed his lips in thought yeah Bobby was right she would like Cas but the book thing…well not so much. At that moment, Caroline screamed followed by a loud banging sound that sounded oddly enough like a pot clashing with a head. They both jumped up and ran into the kitchen bursting through the door. Honestly, it if he really sat down and thought about it…it was actually sorta funny. What with them bursting through the door and finding Caroline brandishing a frying pan and Cas standing there with a bemused look on his face as he rubbed the side of his head.

"Seriously Sam! Seriously who the hell is this guy that keeps saying that he is the angel of the lord?" She asks well more like she spat them out like a pissed off cat. And if he was being truthful here, she kinda looked like a pissed off cat all bristling anger her eyes narrowed and that weird shade of green they get when she is pissed. "Well Care the thing is he is just that." He says slowly he didn't back up even though he really wanted to she was scary when she was mad and since that angry look was now directed at him…well lets just say he was awfully proud of himself for standing his ground. "This is Cas. Do you think that you can lower that frying pan?"

She does slowly still eyeing Cas as if she didn't trust him like he was going to pounce on her at any moment. "You are Caroline." Cas said slowly in that way of his when he's meeting new people for the first time. The guy (or angel in their case) was like a freaking puppy talking slowly cocking his head to the side eyeing you like he found you immensely interesting. "Yes…yes I am. Sam?" She muttered slowly turning to look at him and Bobby. "Yes Care?" She smiled at him in that same way that Bobby had just moments before and it was even scarier on her. "You three have a lot of explaining to do." yeah…yeah, they kinda did didn't they.

"_I don't think I like you very much." Muttered his brother's new toy yeah that was mean but seriously, he could not see his big brother settling down with one girl and certainly not a slip of a girl like her. Maybe someone that was a bit tougher someone that didn't look like they would cry at the drop of a hat or run screaming at the first sign of a fugly. And he so did not believe that they had been dating for a while now and that she had even met his dad. Dad would not approve of Dean traveling with her._

"_Well I guess the feelings mutual then." He snapped. He really wished she would go away. He had no idea why she was here he didn't want her here hell he didn't even want to be here he had his interview Monday. He just wanted to find out where his dad was go home to Jess and become that big shot lawyer that he wanted to be._

_Dean stood there watching them wearily his head bobbing back and forth, as if he was watching a ping-pong match and that was getting annoying as well. "Damn it just tell her to go away already." He grumbled at his brother making her sneer at him. However, Dean didn't, she stayed, and turns out, she was a bit tougher than he realized. She actually kicked ass but he wasn't about to tell her that because heck he still didn't like her. _

_Then something changed. They brought him home to Jess and turned right around again when Dean felt something had been wrong. Something was wrong his world…his world had gone up in flames. Jess was dead leaving a gaping burning hole right where his heart was or used to be. Caroline didn't talk did not say a word just slipped her small hand into his and offered him silent comfort. _

_She did not give him platitudes did not tell him everything was going to all right she didn't even tell him that they would find the bastard that killed his Jess. No she let Dean do that she just sat there holding his hand offering her warmth letting him lean on her. It was the greatest gift he had been given in a long time aside from Jess. Somehow…somehow Caroline had just become someone that was very important to him. Even if he still didn't like her and she still didn't like him. _

After dinner after MaryAnn was safely tucked away in one of Bobby's spare rooms (tucked in by her dad who spent the better part of an hour with her), the all sat down to talk even Cas had shown back up. Speaking of that angel, he was still staring at Caroline with that bemused look on his face every now and then his hand creeping up to touch the side of his head making Dean eye him oddly. "Why does he keep doing that?" Dean asks Bobby as he eyes Caroline and Cas. "Because I hit him with a frying pan." Dean of course found this funny. So funny, in fact that he chortled slapping his thigh with utter glee. "Really Dean?" Sam mutters but his heart is not into it. He's to busy looking at the way that Caroline looked at Dean.

As if she was soaking up the sound of his laughter like she was a thirsty woman in the Sahara Desert. A small smile crossed her face lighting her eyes banishing the sadness that lurked behind them. She shakes her head sending her blonde curls flying, "Dean seriously it wasn't that funny. And Cas is it?" She asks turning her attention to the still confused angel in their midst's. Cas nodded and even tried out a smile that…well looked more like a barring of teeth. At least he tried.

"I'm sorry that I hit you but you kinda just popped up on me." She says her eyes flicking towards him when he muttered; "He does that." she sent her eyes skyward and continued, "You really have to work on personal space." Her smile is kind a little like what he would imagine a schoolteacher would look like if she were talking to a child. "So why don't you three tell me just why I have been in the dark for so long." her smile faded and she looked angry again not as angry as before but mad enough. There was some consolation to all his, he thought as Dean said, "Well it all started when Cas here pulled me out of the pit," Caroline couldn't stay mad at them forever. They were family so she had to forgive them. Right?

_Sam slid his arm around her slim waist and held her other hand grasped tightly in his as he started twirling her around the dance floor Kansas playing in the background. She looked so pretty today in her white dress. "I always wanted a sister." she laughed and laid her head on his chest and muttered, "Don't you already have one in Dean?" he threw his head back and laughed at that making her look up at him through her lashes. And damn if he didn't know how Dean felt for her in that moment._

_He whirled her out and pulled her back in making her smile even brighter than she already was, "Anyone ever tell you that you're a pretty good dancer?" She asks him he shrugs he wouldn't know he's never really danced before honestly he was just trying to show off. "You are." She says finality to her voice. "If you say so Care…if you say so."_

She was silent for a while her eyes on the coffee table and slightly out of focus. "Well," she murmurs scrubbing her hands up anddown her face. "Well," it would seem that was all she could say. "You've already said that." Dean mutters making her scowl at him. "Shut up Winchester. Seriously, what did you think was going to happen? Huh? Did ya think I was going to be all right with all of this? And say well that's okay so what angels are after you and ya know it doesn't matter they may come after me and my daughter because of it!" She was standing now, her voice had started to rise somewhere mid sentence, and it just kept growing in volume. Not that he blamed her. If all this was being sprung on him for the first time all at once he would be a little freaked to. Heck, he had been freaked.

"No I knew that this was going to be a lot to take in _Mrs. Winchester_!" Dean snapped jumping to his feet and Sam tried he really did try to get his brothers attention to try to get him to stop because this could not go anywhere but bad. "You don't have to be snippy about it!" Oh well yeah that did it then they were all going to die. "I don't have to be snippy about? Gee Dean don't be an ass my little girl is upstairs and its bad enough that all this has to be sprung on her right now but she also has to worry about angels! But I don't have to be snippy!" Slow and painful she was going to drag out their deaths and make them cry.

"She's my daughter to!" Yup they were dead. Maybe…maybe Bobby would live to tell the tell. "Dean this may not be the best time…" He started really he tried it was a great effort on his part but the he had two pair of green eyes staring at him as if he was a particularly dim-witted person. "Shut up Sam!" They both snapped at the same time. And…wow he never realized how scary that sounded. Is that what he and Dean sound like? "I can keep them from looking for you. And Sam here knows of a hex bag for your daughter. He calls it extra crunchy." Cas murmured slowly with a bit of enthusiasm. Sam pinched the bridge of his nose and inhaled deeply. That was what he does in situations such as this right?

Weirdly enough Cas's comment seemed to diffuse the bomb that was seconds away from blowing. Huh, who knew that the rookie would save the day? "How can you do that?" She asks him eyeing him if not with open friendliness then with weary friendliness. Damn he wasn't even making sense in his own mind anymore. Funny he was starting to sound a lot like Dean. "He can carve Enochian sigils into your ribs." Caroline looks utterly taken back by Dean's offhanded comment. It shows how used to this stuff they are by now and Caroline so isn't.

"So…so what you are saying is angel boy over here will carve these sigils into my ribs and my daughter…excuse me _our _daughter would have to carry around a hex bag? For how long? How long is this war gonna last how long is MaryAnn's life going to be disrupted?" It was a low blow and she knew but she also had a point one that Sam could see more clearly than the bright lights of Broadway. Everything was going to turn that little girl's life upside down. Her fathers sudden return angels and demons oh and let us not forget that the world held a slight chance of exploding.

"I'm sorry about this I really I am. But what do you want me to say here Caroline what do you want me to do?" Dean asks plaintively. This should be a happy moment for his brother. He was back from Hell he gets to see his daughter and the wife he had to leave behind. This should be a happy moment for them all. But its not. Bobby isn't looking at any of them choosing instead to look out at the night sky through the big picture window he's looking at his feet again (they still held no answers for him) Dean looks lost and a bit broken as he looks down at the floor. Caroline stares at her hands only Cas is looking up only Cas looks at them he can only guess what that angel is thinking. "My baby our baby…her life is going to turn upside down." Caroline mutters her words hanging heavily in the air around them and all Sam can think was that was the understatement of the year.

"_Tell me something Care?" He asks her. Their laying on the hood of the Impala something neither of them would do while Dean was awake but Dean was a sleep and neither of them could sleep yet. "Anything Sammy just ask away." He sighs and looks up at the millions of twinkling lights that seemed to light up the night sky. "Do you ever regret hitting the road with my brother? I mean you left a whole life behind you in Mystic Falls." she doesn't say anything and the silence stretches between them making him feel a bit uncomfortable._

_Nevertheless, being who he is and being trained by John Winchester, he could handle the silence and he would not fidget. Well at least that's what he kept telling himself. "No," She said finally she still didn't look at him. She licked her lips something he noticed she does when she is thinking our troubled by something. "No I don't regret it. I mean do I miss my old life. Sure I do I wouldn't be human if I didn't. But I don't ever regret leaving with your brother he's a very special someone in my life." She says softly, "And to not have you two in my life…well I think that's just a sad thing."_

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><p>He walks out onto the porch he knows she is here even if she is not talking to him at the moment. "It's a lot to take in isn't it?"She snorts at that. "Dean that would be the understatement of the year." he nods and walks over to where she is sitting in the grass her eyes scanning the piles of broken down cars. "Can I sit here?" She nods but other wise doesn't speak and he wonders how long this is going to go on. But he doesn't ask no matter how badly he wants to instead he just sits down next to her getting as close as she would let.<p>

Their quiet neither of them needing to speak. Once upon a time, he couldn't get her to shut up and now she's just to quiet. "I missed you." there is grief tinting her words as if she still missed him. "You were gone and no matter who I had around I was still alone. You were still gone." He pulls his knees up and lays his arms over them. He's almost mirroring her but he chin rests on her knees and she looks like she was trying to crawl in on herself. "I'm sorry." really it was the only thing he could say. "I know why you did it. I would have done the same thing but you still left me with a baby that I had no clue how to raise." he turns his head and looks at her and he can see the tears glittering in her eyes and hanging off her eyelashes like tiny diamonds.

"I wish I had been there seeing her born I mean." her mouth is turned down in a frown and she looks at him there was something akin to horror in those green depths. "No you don't. I don't remember much but I remember almost dying. I'll probably never have anymore children MaryAnn is our miracle baby." He looks back towards the cars his gut clenching tightly. _I will never have any more children; I remember almost dying _her words…words that she just said already haunted him. "Tell me about it."

She shakes her head she doesn't want to talk about it and he can get that really he can does not stop him from wanting to know. He reaches out and brushes away a strand if her hair brushing it behind her ear and he's glad when she doesn't pull away. "I've missed you to by the way." her hand reaches up to cover his and he can feel the slight tremble that runs through her.

_He takes the small photo he has of them out of his wallet for what seems like the millionth time. He knows that leaving them alone was a good idea he knows this is what he has to do to keep them safe. They mean everything to him aside from Sam and Bobby they are all he has left he couldn't stand it if he lost them to. See he knows there's a real good chance they wont survive this war that he and Sam…well odds are their gonna die and its not going to end pretty. No, it will be bloody and messy and everyone that they talked to was in danger. He could not do that to them not to them._

_Caroline he knew would protest she would argue that where ever he and Sam were that's where she and MaryAnn belonged. Nevertheless, he didn't want MaryAnn his baby his little girl to grow up in this life. Yes at that particular moment he was conveniently forgetting the vampire buddies and witch best friend of Caroline's. Even if he had thought of them, it would be a moot point because as much as he was not a fan of Damon he also knew they would never hurt his baby or his wife. _

_Man does that still sound weird who would have thought that the big bad Winchester would ever settle down and get hitched no less. But Caroline could do that to a man she made him want to do things he never thought was possible he wanted normal apple pie with her. Wanted to live in that picket fence and give MaryAnn all the brothers and sisters she could ever want. He wanted it so badly his resolve began to waver. Then he looked over at the gun lying on the table and he knew he couldn't. He just could not do that to them._

"Caroline this isn't going to end pretty you know that." anger flashes through her eyes but it dies quickly replaced by the sadness he had seen lurking earlier. "You still don't get it do you? Then again you never really did. We have always been in this fight Dean you, me Sam and Bobby this is our fight to this is our home don't you think we deserve to fight for it?" She made a valid point but then again she was good at that. Still how could he ask her to join up with them when it would mean leaving MaryAnn unprotected leaving her behind? She stands up and looks down at him her posture is stiff, unyielding, and so Caroline that it astounds him. "Think about it Dean. I am going to check on MaryAnn and then go to bed. Goodnight."

He watches her walk away. He wonders how they got to be this way. He has always tried to keep her out of the more dangerous aspects of the hunter's life tried to keep her safe even with her penchant for getting kidnapped and winding up in hospitals. She has always fought him on it. _This is our fight to this is our home don't you think we deserve to fight for it? _

"_When are you going to get it through your thick skull that I can fight Dean? This is just as much my fight as it is yours and Sam's!" she shouted her eyes blazing green fire she was angry scratch that angry didn't quite describe what she was at the moment. The devils gate had just been open they were being hunted by more demons than ever before he had his deal to worry about a deal that Sam and Caroline know nothing about just yet. _

"_You should go home Caroline." He says turning his back on her he can't look into those eyes of hers anymore he can't see the pain he has caused. "You're a dick and I'm not going any where! My home is with you and Sam you're my husband damn it!" she didn't get it life with him was only going to bring her pain it was only going to get her killed. It would destroy him if something happened to her. "You'll leave if I have to throw you over my shoulder and drive you home!" He snapped back twirling around to look at her._

_Her eyes narrowed and she muttered, "You wouldn't dare." The look he gave her said 'just watch me' she knew that look both her and Sam did and neither one of them has called him on it before but apparently there was a first time for everything. He strode over towards her and was proud when she stood her ground. He grabbed her around her middle and tossed her over his shoulder her shrieks ringing in his ears. "Put me down you big oaf!" She shouted doing her best to kick him but finally she just gave up and pounded on his back. He strode out to the Impala and let her get to her feet while he opened the door. "Dean," She whispered and ya know he really didn't want to look at her in that moment. He did any ways._

"_Please…" She stutters her heart in her eyes, "please don't make me leave." she takes his hand in hers. Her hands are cold he realized and ya know he can't remember a time when she wasn't warm. One of her hands creep up to cup his jaw her thumb caressing his cheek. "Loosing Sam, loosing…losing you will kill me I can't…I just can't loose you boys." And that's all it takes his resolve that used to be so iron strong crumbled like cheep steel. He crushes her to him pulls her in as close as he could. How did he ever think he could let her leave? "How can I say no to that?"_

He leans against the wall just outside the room where MaryAnn was supposed to be sleeping but was instead trying to talk her mother into a late night snack. "But momma I never got my pie." MaryAnn mumbled plaintively. "I know baby papa says he's sorry. He has a surprise for you tomorrow." his little girl gasps with delight, "Really…oh what is it? What is it?" He hears Caroline laugh lightly before she says, "Ssshhh baby go to sleep and you'll find out." MaryAnn sighs and mumbles, "Fine…Delilah up. Goodnight momma."

"Goodnight baby." he doesn't move from his spot as Caroline walks out and shuts the door behind her softly. "She likes pie huh?" Caroline whirls around with a gasp grasping her shirt. "Don't do that!" she admonishes wagging a finger at him. He smiles but doesn't say anything else. "Yes she does like pie. She's a great deal like you Dean." She eyed him for a moment chewing on her lip as if she had something on her mind. "I have pictures." She says, "Do you want to see them?" he nods because of course he wants to see them he missed so much.

He follows her out to her car where she rummages around in the back seat until she popped up (nearly bumping her head) with an triumphant, "Ah ha!" she hands him a big blue photo album a soft smile playing on her face teasing him with memories of a better time. "I always keep this in the car. It's supposed to be for Bobby I keep updating it for him." She pauses chewing on her lip again.

It's as if she was trying to gauge him trying to figure out whom he is now and the person he has become. A lot has happened in the last few years and he figures that they probably have changed. He knows he has and he can tell she has as well. "I want you to have it. Since you couldn't have been there you at least get to see how she grew up in the last few years." With that, she walks away back into the house leaving him alone with a book full of memories that he had no part of.


End file.
